Just got to watch the final cut of the short film I acted in. #Monitor76 The controversial film where no one really knows how much control or privacy we really have. #Film #Actress #Actor #SantaBarbra #Film #Society #Life #2014 #Funor really don’t have.
To be the best, you must do everything you can.
Honestly acting has always been the goal. Ever since I was a child.
But thinking of this now, when I am almost 25… it makes me weak. Things have changed and there has definitely been a time where I have felt like giving up. Not because I doubt myself or my desire for successes, and happiness. But because at times I have doubted my passion for acting and didn’t know exactly what I was looking for.
I have really only seen one side of acting. The side from a perspective of a young girl who moved to LA and got a job on Hollywood Blvd the first day she lived there to dream and hope that she would be discovered. Then to working as an extra and stand in on multiple sets. Than switching to production and even working as Production Manager and auditioning for lead feature film roles. I’ve done the duty and feel like I have been paying dues. YOU’VE READ my stories! You know I’ve been on some crazy sets and have had a lot of fun.
Putting 3 years into acting is a lot. And I know there are many, many, many more to go. As I progressed up into higher positions and bigger production. I realized that I had surrounded myself with professionals. A lot of different professionals, kinds of all sorts. Money, Privileged, Artist, Experienced, Talented, Dreamers, Believers. I’ve seen them all. All with different experience, I realized that a lot of the people who were going for the same dream as me were actors. Actors since birth. Just like me. With different experiences. Some had been in movies and commercials or plays since they were five, some had parents or uncles in the business and some were just lucky. After I had booked my first job in a feature film, I had accomplished my goals. I had been an actress in a feature film. haha. Now what?
The goal is to be a good actress, a great actress, a wonderful actress. After learning what it was like to work with successful actors I had realize that most of their experience had came from theater, and that they did work with coaches or directors who helped them and teach them things that you can’t always learn from experience. Or things that are good to know before big opportunities, like what to expect or how to act. ;)
I am now taking my first theater class at the number one City College in the Nation! And am experiencing for the first time what it is like to act on a stage, to study a play, to project to and connect with an audience. I’m not just auditioning, I’m not just responding or acting in front of a camera. I AM performing.
I am connecting, I am entertaining.
It is the passion, I’ve been craving! It is performing and I am in LOVE!
Being so young I often ponder what things from now will come around and help me later, or if that sometimes things are simply meant to be forgotten.
5 years ago, I packed up and moved to California. At the young age of 19 I didn’t really know what I was doing. I just knew I needed to be there! My entire life I knew I would be in California one day. And the biggest thing that drew me there was the undeniable feeling that I was supposed to be an actress.
I lived in LA for 3 years.
It is a beautiful, beautiful place.
Full of diversity and opportunity, people flock from all over the world to be a part of this creative metropolitan. Some people flourish, and people fall. Some people come and some people go.
They say the only way to succeed in LA is to NEVER GIVE UP.
I’m not going to lie. I am pretty Jaded from LA Like I said it has been the best and the worst 3 years of my life. I have seen some shit… (to put it light terms) Drug Deals, Shootings, Gang Fights, Car Accidents, Heart Break, Betrayal.
But I have also had some great experiences like Filming in my first film, working at a studio, touring with bands, falling in love, meeting so many people and making some really good friends.
I haven’t announced to everyone, but I have packed up and I am moving away from Los Angeles…. Not too far… an hour North to a beautiful place called Carpinteria.
I am not giving up on any of my dreams, I am simply taking myself to a place I can continue to explore the soul purpose of my existence on earth as human.
I feel it can be very easy to loose yourself in such a superficial world such as LA LA LAND. I have so many dreams why would I miss out on any of them…?
I am a Utah girl at heart, and although I want to live the glamorous life that is possible with LA. Sometimes I remember that I want to marry a cowboy and want to live on a farm. :D
So with change in the wind, for the next year I will be volunteering on a organic farm. I will also be playing Lacrosse for SBCC and studying FILM, ACTING AND taking other medical courses. I am hoping to work as a ranch hand on a goat farm but the possibilities are endless…
I am so grateful to have to opportunity to be able to get away from LA continue doing the things that I have always wanted and explore. Not only will I grow but I will learn skills that will help me throughout my entire life as a mother, neighbor and human being. That is something to be excited about.
Wish Me Luck and Let The Good Times Fly.
A friend from Montana once gave me a birthday gift, on the full moon of my 24th birthday.
It was really hard to get on that plane… Leave my home town. The beautiful mountains, the fresh air, my niece, my family. My friends from LIFE, simple Ideas and a very, very, small town.
My mother cried when she dropped me off at the airport. I dont know exactally why, but I know she loves me. And I know I miss being around her.
When my small plane flew into Burbank California. My mouth dropped. I had just been complaining how crazy and how busy my hometown of Kaysville was getting. But when I pulled in, I had honestly forgotten how big Los Angeles is. And I also forgot how beautiful it is. All my Dreams are HERE!
ALL MY DREAMS ARE HERE!!!
ALL MY DREAMS ARE HERE!!!
As much harder as it feels sometimes to work so hard just to be somewhere with oportunity. As tired as I get from trying to live a life and reach my goals, As many people put me down or how many wrong turns I take. I know that I can do it. I can do anything. I am young and I am strong and for my 24th year with my gifted tooth, I will have endurance. I will ride this long hard road, make it through, never give up and see where it takes me.
Because if you don’t know where you are going, Any road will take you there. Hold tight, Keep believing and never stop dreaming!!